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Homophobic Conspiracies Aren’t Just For Mom and Dad Anymore!

September 23, 2010

Hey, world!  It’s a dangerous and conspiratorial world out there, but you have the Internet, so you knew that already!

You remember how when you were growing up and Your Dad was like “JFK was an inside job, MANG” and you were like “Okay, but can we get some ice cream on the way home?” and he was like “No, it will ruin your dinner and your mom will kill me”?  And prior to that, your parents tried convincing you that a man watched everything you did and kept a record of whether you were naughty or nice (am I talking of Santa Claus or God?)?  And then 9/11 happened and everything seemed to be coming to a head and you were like “Thank Beelzebub for the Internet and Wikipedia and Google and YouTube, because otherwise I’d just be getting all of my information from THE MAINSTREAM NEWS which is all LIES AND COCA COLA COMMERCIALS ANYWAY and HISTORY BOOKS ARE ALL PROPAGANDA and YOU CAN’T TRUST THEM!  I’d rather I get my information from a RAVING LUNATIC or a YOUNG PERSON WITH LITTLE TO NO POST-SECONDARY EDUCATION because HISTORY IS WRITTEN BY THE WINNERS, SO LET’S GIVE THE LOSERS A CRACK AT IT!”

Well, crack was right.  Oh, and losers.  The losers are getting their chance in spades.  Alex Jones is a national treasure AND a homophobe!  Now you can be paranoid of your government and have a place to openly disclose your fears and ignorances of homosexuality!  Cake: We’re Having It AND Eating It, Too!


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