Skip to content

Of Wolfish Men & Albinism (cont’d)

August 17, 2010

To Will

WILL,
I THOUGHT SINCE WE ARE NOW TO BE FRIENDS THAT I WOULD LET YOU SEE THE REAL ME! HERE IS A PHOTO I TOOK OF MYSELF TRYING ON NEW JEANS MY MOTHER MADE FOR ME! SHE IS AN INDUSTRIOUS WOMAN, BUT RAISING A CHILD IN THE TAIL END OF COMMUNISM WILL DO THAT TO YOU! IT WILL EITHER DO THAT OR KILL YOU. HARSH, I KNOW, BUT ONCE THE SOVIET UNION DISSOLVED, WE WERE AT THE MERCY OF SOLDIERS AND EX-KGB DRUNK ON POWER (THEY HAD GUNS STILL! THE GUNS DON’T DISAPPEAR WITH THE STATE, FRIEND WILL! WE LEARNED THE HARD WAY) AND LUSTING FOR RAPE. I MYSELF WAS NEVER RAPED BUT MY COUSIN WAS. SHE WAS TO BE WED TO A NEIGHBOURING FARMER’S SON, A WELL BUILT LAD OF GOOD GENES. NOT JEANS! HE NEVER HAD A PAIR WHICH SO FRAMED HIS REAR LIKE THE ONES MY MOTHER MADE ME! SHE UNDERSTANDS THAT ONE NEEDS TO BE PROUD OF THE ASSETS GIVEN TO THEM BY GOD OR WHICHEVER SENTIENT BEING GRANTED US THIS TERRIBLE EXISTENCE.

I AM SORRY THAT THIS E-MAIL TOOK SUCH A DARK TURN, FRIEND WILL. I AM AN ARTIST, AND MY MIND OFT PONDERS THE TERRORS OF DAY TO DAY LIFE, BROKEN OCCASIONALLY BY THE ODD ORGASM. FRIEND WILL, YOU KNOW OF WHAT I SPEAK, CORRECT? ORGASMS, OF COURSE, UNLESS YOU ARE A CATHOLIC PRIEST, WHICH I DON’T BELIEVE YOU ARE. A SNAP JUDGMENT, I KNOW, BUT I BELIEVE YOU WOULD BE BUSY SENDING E-MAILS ABOUT THE LORD OR SURFING FOR PHOTOS OF CHILDREN TO CURB THE DRONING HUM OF YOUR GROIN FROM MAKING YOU DO SOMETHING BAD… OR WORSE!

WELL, ENOUGH TALK! I KNOW, I AM THE TALKATIVE ONE, AM I NOT? LET ME HEAR MORE ABOUT YOU AND YOUR WONDROUS SERVICE OF BRANDLESS MUSIC PROMOTION! I AM ALL EARS (ACTUALLY EYES BECAUSE I WILL BE READING YOUR RESPONSE. DO YOU KNOW OF ANY GOOD DICTATION PROGRAMS, WILL? I WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE TO BE ABLE TO DOWNLOAD A SPECIFIC VOICE FOR EACH PERSON I CORRESPOND WITH. THEN I COULD IMAGINE LIKE WE WERE REALLY IN THE SAME ROOM, BREATHING THE SAME AIR! OH, WHAT WONDERS THIS HORRID INFORMATION AGE HOLDS!).

PLAYFULLY YOURS.

Advertisements
No comments yet

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: